How To Handle Sibling Fighting ?

During these times when people live in nuclear families, children develop some level of selfishness and this often results in quarrels between siblings. In earlier times when joint families were in existence, many children used to live together and were in habit of sharing things and coexisted peacefully.

Living in the surrounding where there is lesser number of children in each family, often only one, each child develops habit of being alone. When at home with other siblings, fighting starts very often over non issues. In addition to the reason that they have to share sometimes, the children get frustrated small matters and vent out the frustration by picking up fight with siblings. Another reason often seen is preference given by parents to one child over the other. Sometimes the eldest or the youngest child or a son or a daughter is dearer to the parents, resulting in fight amongst them.

It becomes the duty of the parents to see that the siblings behave in a proper manner. The parents should exercise utmost restraint in dealing with the children. Often the parents get involved in fight of the children. At this stage nothing should be done which may give the impression that a particular child is being favoured. The parents should try to go to the root of the reason of eruption of dispute resulting in fighting. They should be firm and ensure that the fight should be nipped in the bud the moment it starts.

It is better that both or all the siblings be made to sit at a table and individually asked about the reason as to how the fight started. Till the reason is ascertained and resolved none of them should be allowed to walk away or watch television. Spending some time on this will be helpful in the long run. The child at fault should be given punishment which may be not allowing him to watch a preferred TV show or he could be asked to do some cleaning work at home or in the kitchen.

Sometimes it may be good that after tempers cool down the children should be told to discuss amongst themselves and find a solution so that this is not repeated again. The parents should sometimes watch the fight from a distance to see if the children are able to resolve it themselves. One of the threats from the parents could be that they will be admitted in some boarding school and will have to live away from parents and other brother or sister. If the children behave, reward policy will be helpful. Regular counselling, when the atmosphere is normal, will be great.